someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
