I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
