i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
