Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
