grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
