I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize