If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
