Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize