Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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