god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
