$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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