i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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