She's JV to your varsity
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
