I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drunk is not a location!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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