Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
