Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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