2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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