It's just like the Real World with babies
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize