Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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