Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize