Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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