I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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