all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
