Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
