My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
