never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize