i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
