Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He shit in the fireplace
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
