Define "chronic" masturbator.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
