I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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