Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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