Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize