dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
