we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
