I am in a vortex of obligation.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize