He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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