I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
