Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
foreskin is a definite game changer
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
