hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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