i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
tell me about the fingering
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