i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
