man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
