i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Shame - the story of my life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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