This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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