All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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