Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
