I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize