no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
