I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
