eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize