honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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