I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
