There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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