Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
