Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
