My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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