haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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