we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
