you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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