peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
