Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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