me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
