one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
