Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
