I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
