Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
