Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
whose parrot is this?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
