maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
