Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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