I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
