:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
