we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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