God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
