Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
