think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize