Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
