its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
