Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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